I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
