it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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