hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
