there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
