why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
