Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
