Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize