Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
