oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize