Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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