Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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