I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
