Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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