We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
why do cheetos always look like penises
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize