This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
