I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
