so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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