Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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