help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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