I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
