is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
