I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
