Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
