My girlfriend figured out who you are.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize