i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
