pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
