You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
