i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
