after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she told me i tasted like america
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
