You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
