??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
