I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
