I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I want to be your penis for a week.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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