Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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