apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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