We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
