i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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