got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
