Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My ass is underappreciated
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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