Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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