it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
