so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
