she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
