I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
