He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
