whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm always down for nudity.
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