I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
