Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
