we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize