What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I skipped work to stalk him.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
