i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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