I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
