I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
