You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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