yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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