i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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