Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
