thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize