this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
