It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
