What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You are a genius and a whore.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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