My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
