Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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