those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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