Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
