I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
