Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
