Where did you get a picture of my penis
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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