we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
