All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize